First Love, First Kiss
by RizenWingZ
Summary: -KxJ / The King's Joker- I lost the chance... But she gave me another... Dedication to palfkmbkv! :D


**Yow guys!! Back to writing!! And it's my first Tadamu fic!! Hope you guys like it!! PS. I dedicate this to palfkmbkv and the amv "AmuXTadase - What hurts the most" (in youtube. IT'S AWESOME) This inspired me so much so This is a special oneshot!! GO TADASE!! PSPS... I didn't put Kiseki or in short, the charas since they didn't really, exactly talk in palfkmbkv's AMV... o.o... okay hope you guys read it at least!! PSPSPS... I'm sorry, it sucks... and it's a bit OOC... I think... :( -sobs-**

**Oh yeah, Tadase calls them by their last names but sheesh, it's just in his head that I let him call them by their first names so... That's all!**

**+ RizenWingZ + : I do not own Shugo Chara!! Thanks again for your AMV palfkmbkv!! :D**

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**repLace your Tears to roseS...**

I first saw your sweet, tender smile with him... It was then that I realized, I was losing... No... I lost the chance to have you...

I stared at the glass windows of the Royal Garden, waiting for the pink haired girl to come... Hesitating in my mind, should I really ask her that?...

The door inched and I slightly shivered, seeing fiery pink strands being blown by the wind...

"Ah, Tadase-kun. You're early." She said bluntly, placing her bag on the ground.

"Yes, I can't believe it myself." I replied, not acting the usual me.

I seemingly gawked at her, scared, and obviously acted like a coward. Not knowing what to say exactly, it just popped out of my mind... "H-Hinamori-san..."

She glanced at me with those glittering honey eyes, but I was serious... It's the first time I've been utterly momentous with a happening. My eyes dared to glare at her, and she slightly trembled, looking straight to my eyes...

"Have you grown fond of Tsukiyomi Ikuto?" I asked, firmly.

"What?..." Her voice was shaky and her 'cool and spicy' act wore off... Her movements stopped, Her face turned pale and her voice couldn't come out from her mouth any longer... She bowed her head in front of me... My qustion was unanswered, my misery, unexpressed... It's expected that her reaction would be like this... I really did lose my chance, the chance to love her freely... My timorous self stared at the ground with depression... I began to lose my balance, and my self-control of being 'me'.

"I see then..." I whispered, standing up from my seat. "I shall go ahead... Sorry for bothering you... Please tell the others that I cannot stay for the meeting today..." I staggered myself out of the beautiful scenery, leaving her cautious self behind...

"W-wait, Tadase-ku...n..." Were the last words that I could hear from her voice...

Walking to my house with depression, keeping all my feelings inside me. I couldn't act hastily, I walked endlessly, going nowhere to what I think... It was inevitable... Why? Humpty Lock... Dumpty Key... Were they really meant to be? The Dumpty Key that I once owned... Tsukiyomi Ikuto... Hinamori Amu... I paused, and shook my head violently. I shouldn't think about these things anymore, anyhow... I started to walk again, It doesn't matter now, really...

"I'm home..." I said weakly, opening the door to my house.

I stayed in my room for the whole day, thinking of what could happen on the next day, and the day after... I have to stay strong... This situation won't bother me. I'm... not afraid... A small tear trickled down my cheek. There's no escaping to this now...

†**...xXx...†**

I sat up on my bed, starting to get ready for school... It's been days since that happened, and I still can't sleep at all... I still thought of everything else... It's still so upsetting as it was. I'm still depressed, still numb, still not 'me'. I'm... Emotionless... I left the house, not eating my breakfast, no matter what I tell myself. I went to my classroom with a dull face and I ended up bumping with Amu's eyes... I reacted quickly and disappeared from her sight, sitting down on my desk.

I sat there, doing exactly nothing...

"Hotori-kun, are you okay?" I turned and noticed that my seatmate asked me something.

"Ah... I'm fine..." I replied with a sad smile...

I'm still affected by it... Lying to myself everyday... I AM a coward, aren't I? She confessed to me a long time ago, and by that reaction I did... This is what happens...

†**...xXx...†**

We're at the Royal Garden, discussing our events for this month... I was still unsure of what to do, despite that I am the King... Even if I'm suppose to know everything that's about to happen in Seiyo Academy, I was in my own world, thinking my own way... It's typically not what I am at all... In my head, I remembered all my memories... Visualizing all the precious times I've been with Amu... The times that I should have told her by then... The times I should have done it already... And now, I see you walking away... Away from my heart forever...

"Hotori-kun!" I heard Nadeshiko shout to me, and I suddenly came back from my world.

"Ah..."

"You were spacing out, Hotori-kun." She explained, scratching the back of his head.

"Ah... I'm sorry... Shall we continue?" I asked, pretending to concentrate on what we were doing.

I glanced at Amu once more, she still has that depressed face that I saw the last time... I didn't think at all... I just acted... I acted, just like the coward I see in myself...

**†...****Amu's POV...†**

I came home from the meeting just about awhile ago, and I resisted to burst into tears, wanting releasing all of my mixed emotions... Everything between me and Tadase changed... He's been acting really strange now and I don't know what to tell him anymore... I'm confused... Too confused... I jumped to my bed, cuddling my pink pillow. His words were stuck in my head...

_"Have you grown fond of Tsukiyomi Ikuto?" _It was haunting me... Tsukiyomi... Ikuto... What is it so much about him?... I... Like Tadase-kun... Right?...

Oh now Amu, you have to relax a bit and take a walk... I forced myself to move from my uncomfortable position and took a stroll to... Elsewhere...

Not caring of my surroundings, I was dragging myself through the road... I was just thinking... Ikuto?... Tadase... When will I escape from this mixed love?...

I stopped and saw Kukai and Tadase walking along the same road I was taking. "Ah! Hinamori! What you doing here??" Kukai asked, ruffling my hair.

"Ah... Passing by... Nothing much..." I answered, not daring to look at the blonde's face...

Silence flowed into us and Kukai started to go curious on what was happening. "Did something happen?"

"Ah, I'll be going ahead now, Souma-kun..." Tadase suddenly spoke, then I commented...

"I'll go... See you, Kukai, Tadase-kun..." I waved to them in sadness and ran back to the house... Maybe taking a walk just made my life and problem worse... Can I really fix this hole between me and Tadase?...

†**...xXx...†**

I dressed up for school, did my daily routine, and seriously losing hope that I can really fix this... I can't take this anymore... Why does this have to happen? I don't... I regret being like this... We've been ignoring each other for days now... I can't let this stuff pass me by... I need to say it...

Time passed by fast as I could ever imagine... Class ended and I approached Tadase, but he unconsciously evades me...

"Ah Tadase-kun," I said, waving to him.

"What is i--..." He got interrupted when someone just yelled "Hotori-kun!!"

"Gomen..." He whispered, walking out of the classroom...

My feelings... were unsaid... I couldn't get the chance to tell him... And even if I wanted to, I would run and freak out to death... Maybe it is impossible... Tadase...-kun... I ran going to somewhere that nobody could see me... My eyes were forming tears, what can I possibly do?... I ended up stopping in front of The doors of the planetarium, and I had the sudden urge to come in...

I slowly opened the doors and I saw the sky changing it's color, making it amazing to see...

"I guess I knew you would come here..." I heard a voice from inside and it was Tadase...

"Ah... Tadase-kun... Why are you here?" I asked, still in an awkward pace.

"I just came to wait for you." He answered, smiling with somewhat a depressed emotion. "Care to sit with me?"

I sat beside him and gazed above us together, it was changing our moods... This is a place where you can find some happiness...

"Uhm... Tadase-kun... Why'd you wait for me?"

"I came to apologize..." He started. "I've been acting really unusual lately, and I was just thinking of my pains and..." He paused, while I saw his fist tighten.

"I'm selfish... I have been saying so much, but then I watch you walk away..." I couldn't stop him from talking... He was... He meant it so much, that I wanted to cry by that moment.

"And not seeing that loving you, is what I was trying to do..."

I stared at him for a long time, recalling his last words... Love... Tadase-kun... "Uhm, Tadase-kun... I..." I started, hesitating, doubting... But continued on... "I don't know what I'm feeling right now but I know that I... I..."

"It's okay..." He said with a sweet voice, and looked at me with bright brilliant crimson eyes...

"I love you too..."

By that time you told me how you felt, That was the time I got my first kiss...

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**o.o... I just like copied the whole amv, but turned it into a fanfic. hahaha.. Thanks again palfkmbkv!! Thanks for reading!! :D ARIGATOU GUZAIMASU!**


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